The Blind Leading the Blind – Emotional Intelligence and the Unaware Leader

"The Blind Leading the Blind" by Pieter Bruegel the Elder (1568)

File:Brueghel Blinde.PNG. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons

Fifteen years ago, my oldest son sat in front of the mirror looking at the little person staring back at him from the glass.  The baby in the mirror mimicked his every move.  He looked quizzically at the other child, then reached up and pulled his hat off.  Up until this moment, he had played with his reflection as if it were another baby, but now he had made a life-changing discovery.  He become aware of himself, taking the first step in becoming aware of those in the world around him.  This self-awareness is the first step in learning to interact with others – of learning to influence those around us. 

Recently, a reader asked what I considered the ten most important leadership traits.  The question has been on my mind since.  I repeatedly listed the defining characteristics of a true leader, but each list was a duplication of hundreds of others I have read.  I didn’t feel that adding to the already substantial and extensively studied genre would be as beneficial as taking a road a little less traveled.  Therefore, I decided to expand upon a factor I see as essential in any interpersonal relationship.

This came to me as I tossed and turned in bed trying to get my biological clock to figure out where I was and what time it was after another trip half way around the world.   As happens in the state between consciousness and unconsciousness, I experienced a moment of clarity.  Maybe it was a result of my overwhelming fatigue or because I sympathized with my wife’s efforts to sleep through my nocturnal gymnastics, but it occurred to me how important awareness is in our relationships with others.

A leader must influence others to contribute their time, efforts, and passions to achieve a vision.  Leaders can approach this one of two ways.  They can force or motivate.  While the former can work provided the leader has the brute force or authority to enforce their will, it is far from the most effective method.  In this environment, devotion to the cause is low and resentment to the leader high.  A beaten dog will lash out at its oppressor at the first opportunity.  People are no different. 

On the other hand, while motivating others to contribute their efforts to your cause willingly is much more nuanced and at times difficult, it is much more effective since it builds devotion and enthusiasm for the leader and their vision.  Motivated people are more willing to sacrifice and go the extra mile to reach the organizational goal.  However, motivating others requires that you understand yourself and the other stakeholders in the process.  It requires awareness on multiple levels.  It requires emotional intelligence or EQ.

British journalist Russell H. Ewing explained the difference between these two approaches.  He explained:

“A boss creates fear, a leader confidence. A boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes. A boss knows all, a leader asks questions. A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting. A boss is interested in himself or herself, a leader is interested in the group.”[1]

Dr. Travis Bradberry,[2] coauthor of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, divides emotional intelligence into two categories:  Self-awareness and social awareness.  These describe how we perceive ourselves and those around us.  This, in turn, determines how we manage, first ourselves and then others. 

Our ability to influence others is predicated on our understanding of their needs, preferences, strengths, and weaknesses.  However, to understand others, we must first understand ourselves.  Hence, self-awareness is the first step.  Psychologist, scientist, and journalist Daniel Goleman wrote:

“If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”[3]

Self-awareness ensures we understand our own strengths, desires, and limitations.  Without this, we cannot possibly lead anyone else. 

Knowing what we are and are not capable of is only part of the equation.  We also must have a vision of where we want to go and why.  If we don’t know where we are going and have a compelling reason why others should follow us there, how can we lead them?  We are merely blindly leading the blinded.  Carl G. Jung said: 

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”[4]

Self-awareness is even more vital in a team environment where we must mobilize individual talents and manage the inevitable conflicts.  Until we know who we are, what makes us tick, our strengths and weaknesses; we cannot begin to understand and effectively manage ourselves, let alone others.  Until we know and are able to admit what we can and cannot do, we cannot begin to see the value others can contribute to our vision and goal accomplishment.  No amount of education or number of honorifics after our name can possibly ensure we know everything.  We need others to fill in the gaps. 

Furthermore, no one wants to work with someone who insists they have no faults and cannot see beyond his or her own ego.  If you are not able to acknowledge your limitations and recognize the relative strengths of others, those with better insight, the ones you really need on your team, will refuse to follow.  Even if you happen to be charismatic enough to attract people to your cause, you can only berate them or lead them into a ditch so many times before they stop following.  On the other hand, a climate that fosters respect for the contribution of others breeds devotion and cooperation.  The late co-founder of Hewlett-Packard David Packard pointed out:

“A group of people get together and exist as an institution we call a company so they are able to accomplish something collectively that they could not accomplish separately – they make a contribution to society, a phrase which sounds trite but is fundamental.”[5]

As part of a team, we need to feel needed – to feel we can make a real contribution.  We also need to feel that our opinions matter – that even the leader is open to feedback and advice even if it questions their decisions.  Only a truly self-aware person can take critical feedback without taking offense.  Even unjustified and malicious criticism has the potential to help us improve. 

Once we have a fair and unbiased awareness of ourselves, we can begin learning to understand others.  Knowing what motivates every member of our team can unlock the enormous potential contained therein.  Motivation is highly personal.  Some are motivated by material rewards while others by praise or accomplishment, but most people will give their all to be part of a winning team, even if the fiscal rewards are higher elsewhere.   Simon Sinek, the author of Start with Why explains how different rewards motivate.  He says:

“When people are financially invested, they want a return. When people are emotionally invested, they want to contribute,” [6] furthermore, he also pointed out that, “We follow those who lead not because we have to, but because we want to.”[7]

How do we make people want to follow us?  Effective motivation is relationship based not transactional.  While earning a paycheck is one of the main reasons we work, the non-monetary rewards of working on a great team that accomplishes great things often has more influence on where we choose to work, how long, and how much effort we are willing to expend for that employer.  

For example, Fortune ranks Google as the best company to work for in 2015.  They write that while employees consider its famous perks a plus, employees most often point to the opportunity to work with great people and accomplish great things as the greatest perk of all.  In fact, Google goes to great lengths to facilitate interactions between its employees.  The free food and fun are engineered to create opportunities for employees from all over the organization to interact, building a strong corporate team.  The cafeteria lines run just slow enough that one has to stand in line, giving an opportunity to chat with others around you.  The tables are long and set close together causing strangers to sit near each other.[8]  These factors cause people to interact with others outside their own circle.  The result?  A cross-pollinization throughout the organization that breeds enthusiasm and innovation and a company that attracts and utilizes the best and brightest.

Similarly, a leader must get to know their people and learn what motivates them.  This is a vital first step in getting the most out of the team.  When we take time to know them and let them know we are interested in them as a person their devotion and motivation increases.  My father recently retired from Swanson Enterprises.  He fondly tells of corporate leadership visits to his machine shop.  The CEO and head of human resources would spend a significant amount of their time wandering around the shop floor talking to the workers.  He said they knew each of them including details of their families.  My father felt part of the team, he felt his leaders knew him and cared about him. Even in retirement, he is still a company advocate.

As Dr. Bob Nelson, an expert on employee motivation said: 

“An employee's motivation is a direct result of the sum of interactions with his or her manager.”[9]  

As with motivation, this interaction can be positive or negative.  Positive motivation results from the employee feeling valued and the leader helping them succeed by effectively utilizing their talents and abilities.  When in touch with his or her people, the leader speaks to what is important to the employee and sets them up for success.

Leaders’ awareness does not end with those they lead.  It extends up, down, laterally, and outside the organization.  John C. Maxwell’s The 360° Leader explores this concept in depth. He points out that:

“Ninety-nine percent of all leadership occurs not from the top, but from the middle of an organization.”[10]

This means that leaders must be aware of the needs of all stakeholders and be able to influence people above, below, lateral, inside, and outside their organization.  Ignoring any one of these groups could leave them without the knowledge and resources they need to succeed. 

Those above us set the vision, but not usually in a vacuum.  Being aware of their desires and needs not only helps us align our efforts to their vision, but also helps us to shape that vision.  People are more likely to listen to those who listen to them.  When we take time to understand our leader and their vision, we tell them we care about it and want to help achieve it.  This does not mean we blindly accept their vision but we rather try to understand it so as to be able to align our efforts to the leader’s and framework our proposals to fit it.  This puts us in a position to improve the joint vision. 

This concept applies to those below us.  When we are aware of the needs and desires of our subordinates as well as what they are able to contribute, we can assimilate this into our vision and ensure those above us are able to do the same with theirs.  This applies to our lateral relationships.  Knowing the resources and needs of those in other parts of our organization allows us to marshal their resources as well as support their efforts in achieving organizational goals.  In this way, all in the organization are pulling in the same direction.

The success of an organization, however, is not independent of external factors.  We all have customers, suppliers, government regulators, and those impacted by our operations.  While it is impossible to know everything, being aware of the needs and potential contributions of all these players is vital to our own and our organization’s success.  Products flop because companies ignored the voice of the customer. Expenses spiral out of control because companies fail to keep abreast of what is going on with their suppliers. Businesses lose access to markets or bases of operation when locals, upset at exploitation or negative environmental impacts on the population, rise up against the company as happened after the Union Carbide disaster in India in 1984, which killed almost 4,000 and injured over 550,000.

Being aware of all these stakeholders allows us to take their needs, opinions, and desires into account when setting goals and working towards them.  Managed correctly, we can mobilize the assets they have to offer in pursuing mutually beneficial goals while minimizing negative impacts, which increase their opposition to our operations.  It is said that a rising tide lifts all boats, but this is not necessarily good if the rising tide is a tsunami.  While steamrolling the opposition can work in the short term, it often blows back on us down the road.  Those we steamrolled may be our future employees, suppliers, or customers.  Cultivating good relationships will rarely backfire.

When we swallow our pride and look try to become aware of others, our horizons expand, our resources increase, and our vision of what is possible becomes clearer as we include more and more perspectives and points of view.  None of us made it this far alone and our continued progress depends on our ability to marshal those around us to our cause and help them make it theirs as well.  Myopia will only lead to the ditch of disaster, a broad view puts us on the pathway to success.

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[1] Font Stream Admin. Font Stream. 20 January 2014. Webpage. 5 April 2015. <http://www.frontstream.com/30-inspirational-employee-engagement-quotes/>.

 [2] Bradberry, Dr. Travis. Why You Need Emotional Intelligence To Succeed. 12 January 2015. 4 April 2015. <https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-you-need-emotional-intelligence-succeed-dr-travis-bradberry?trk=object-title>.

[3]Goleman, Daniel. Brainy Quote. 2001-2015. 3 April 2015. <http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/jwCJZcZVpbHRyy0W.99>.

[4] (Jung) Jung, Carl G. Good Reads: C. G. Jung Quotes. 2015. http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/38285.C_G_Jung. 18 April 2015.

[5] Font Stream Admin. Font Stream. 20 January 2014. Webpage. 5 April 2015. <http://www.frontstream.com/30-inspirational-employee-engagement-quotes/>.

[6]  (Font Stream Admin)

[7] Sinek, Simon. "TED.com." September 2009. Simon Sinek: How great leaders inspire action. 5 April 2015. <http://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action?language=en#t-11422>.

[8] Colvin, Jeff. "Fortune 100 Personal Bests - The 100 Best Companies to Work For." Fortune 15 March 2015: 32-36. Print.

[9] Nelson, Bob. Brainy Quote. 2001-2015. 5 April 2015. <http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/bobnelson194814.html>.

[10] Maxwell, John C. The 360 Degree Leader: Developing Your Influence from Anywhere in the Organization. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, Inc., 2005. E-book.